Here I am in the same house, doing the same things at the same time I was one month ago. Once again putting off my bedtime to later than I intended, hair all wet from my shower, clothes and food all prepared for a restful Sunday. Yet this time all I hear coming from that room are some gentle snores from some little ones we care for. Thankfully I am NOT hearing a shaking crib and weird grunt/gasps, running over to the crib with my eyes trying to adjust to the light to see what this is. Thankfully I am NOT picking up a soaking wet baby who then goes limp in my arms, running into my parents room and throwing on the light saying things in gibberish. Thankfully Daddy can have his phone left alone on his nightstand instead of trying to get an ambulance here FASTER while watching his precious girl shaking uncontrollably while every once in a while gasping in air. Thankfully we do not have to spend 4 agonizing hours in the ER not able to see the baby we love so much while they try everything they can to stop those seizures. Thankfully we do NOT have to spend this next week sitting beside a lifeless baby praying she will live another hour while doctors work tirelessly to figure things out.
My arms are shaking as I try to type this. We have all tried to push that awful night to the back of our minds. We have been successful in doing this lately because of all the miraculous things that have happened since then! But what would all that be if we don't remember how it all started? If we remember the darkest moments as much as the brightest ones, we are reminded even more of the incredible mercy and power of our Lord and Savior! All these joyous accomplishments are from God and are definitely celebrated. But do we really celebrate them as how incredible they are? We can only do this when we go back and realize how much the Lord has done and is doing! This baby shouldn't be alive! Praise the Lord she is!
I am only a little surprised at my emotions lately. Just hearing a siren makes my heart ache. Seeing one turn into the children's hospital makes me pray for the child and their hurting family. Even seeing an ambulance come into where I work to take a little girl who simply dislocated her elbow made me cry and want to go hug her mom!
You never know how fast your life can change. One night you might be taking that too late shower after settling things for the next day. Those outfits you laid out may sit there for weeks before you can get back to them. Or those outfits may never be worn again by the person intended! You never know! My car shopping and to-do lists went out the window! In fact I just looked at the one I had made for that next week. None of it got accomplished. So was it really all that important?
It makes me think of harsh/hasty words or looks, things done or not done for one another and hearts not right with God. You never know when your last breath or heart beat is. You never know when your brain may be attacked or a tree falls on you. But be sure you know the One who gave you life and breath! Be sure you know where you're going! These bodies we are living in will die, but your soul will not. Please give your life to the One who gave it to you in the first place!
And calling the crowd to Him with His disciples, He said to them, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever will save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit for a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Mark 8:34-36
